Today

Posted on June 27, 2009

With David being deployed I find myself wishing the time away. Being in a constant count-down mode of just wanting each day to go by quickly so he can be back with us. I spend alot of my days complaining to myself at how challenging it can be for me to get both girls down for the night. Being tired of how lonely I feel after they are in bed and it gets dark out and I have no one to chat with. Tired of not having anyone to cook for who will praise me and tell me how great it is (Yes, Kate does compliment me on my mean PB&J and grilled cheese sandwiches and while I appreciate that, it’s just not the same! LOL!). Really resenting having all the bug squishing duties and remembering when to take the trash out. I really love my husband and while I’m completely capable of keeping the home fires burning without him, life is sure so much sweeter and easier and more joyful when I have my best friend to experience everything with. But today as I was cleaning Claire up after Kate assisted with feeding her some delicious pureed baby food goodness I realized how she wasn’t eating solids when David left. She wasn’t rolling. She wasn’t as alert. She was 2 months younger than she is now. Then I look over at Kate and see her inspecting her beautiful piece of glittery artwork from preschool. She wasn’t in preschool when David left. She wasn’t using the word mischievous, wasn’t potty trained, didn’t own a pair of fabulous pink plastic dress up heels and didn’t know that Beatrix Potter books existed. We didn’t have picnics at the park next door, we hadn’t discovered Odwalla juice & didn’t rock out to the song Jungle Drum by Emiliana Torrini. My girls are growing and drastically changing and the real tragedy is that not only is David missing it, but I’m missing it too. So starting today I’m going to stop wishing the time away until he’s home. Starting today I’m going just enjoy the moment – the moments where a perfect slobbery little hand reaches up to touch my face, the moments where my three year old honestly beats me in playing memory and yes, even enjoy the moments when it gets hairy and crazy cause while it’s hard, at least I get to be with them, cause David isn’t, and I know he’d love to be present for a hissy fit or a diaper blow out cause that would mean he’s here with us.

Here is a small collection of this weeks photos. Of me enjoying them and their preciousness. Of me simple enjoying today…no matter what.