Posted on June 30, 2008
Recently one of my old friends got married back in the states, I wasn’t able to attend, but I poured over all her beautiful wedding photos so carefully taking in all the beautiful details. You could tell she was in heaven. She looked so radiant and relaxed and just completely lovely. Now I doubt there are many (if ANY) Brides who are fully relaxed and without even an ounce of stress, but if she had any she sure hid it beautifully. I was so happy for her. So happy that she titled her wedding photos, “Day of Bliss”, so completely thrilled for her that she got a beautiful, wonderful wedding day. You see I LOVE weddings, LOVE the love between bride and groom, love all the lovely details!!! Except my OWN wedding of course. I hated my wedding. Hated that I had to work so hard to plan it and pay for it especially since frankly I never EVER wanted a wedding, because I knew how I’d react. I was so overcome with stress over how much it was costing me, how hard I had to work to get the absolute most cheap EVERYTHING, how angry I was that I was talked into the wedding to begin with. Most of the pictures even clearly show my stress, there are so many where I’m clutching my bouquet SO tight and my face is just petrified. ALL I wanted was to run off with my handsome stud and get married, just the two of us, no hoopla, no reception bills to pay, no invitations to handmake and send, no worry and concern over if we invited everyone who wanted to come. I wanted a marriage NOT a wedding. I suppose the only thing I am thankful for is there are SOME decent photos of us to show our kids where I don’t look like a deer in the headlights. I do know one thing, if ANY of our kids don’t want a wedding I’ll be the first one to push them towards Vegas! HAAA!
Now comes the next piece of self reflection – our move to Germany. I hate living here. I LOVE German people, I LOVE German food, I LOVE how gorgeous the landscaping is. But it’s not home. I miss my family and the support I could be getting from them if we were in the states, the military mail service is insanely slow to arrive (if EVER actually get delivered at all!), the Euro is kicking the Dollars butt so if we ever have to buy anything on the economy it is just a complete rip off, I miss U.S. television and all my favorite shows, I feel very, very isolated and afraid to talk to Germans, even though they are seriously the most friendly people I’ve ever associated with, I feel intense guilt I don’t know enough of the German language to make myself clear, so I find that even the few German phrases and words I do know just completely disappear when I’m in the place of speaking to them. So I just clamp up and prove what a dumb American I really am. I don’t enjoy traveling. I can appreciate the pretty stuff throughout Europe, but all the stress associated with this move just zaps the cool factor right away.
So after reflecting on these two big pieces of my life that I flat out despise I came to a startling and rather frightening conclusion. I am COMPLETELY freak (Well I kinda knew that already! Hee-hee) Most people would seriously give ANYTHING to have a wedding and move to Europe. Yet I do not at all. It’s really a shame that this move was wasted on someone who would be much happier in a little U.S. town enjoying the U.S. Postal Service (even though they have been known to lose my packages as well!!), find everything I need for my house between Target and Walmart and enjoy spending dollars and dollars only.
This depressing post does have a positive end though! I’ve also learned after living here in tummy-wrenching disappointment for over a year that I do have so much to be thankful for. I mean I’d never know the joys of German food if I hadn’t come here. I’d never have the awesome friends I’ve made here if I was still living in U.S. bliss. I’d never have this house full of GORGEOUS, HUGE, German windows if I hadn’t come here. (DREAM lighting for a photographer, seriously!!!!) So even through my saddness, I really can find the silver lining.
So here’s to more deep self-reflection. To more “Dr. Phil-ing” of my own crazy psyche. To more happiness and less (as Kate calls them) grumpies.
Posted on June 27, 2008
Look what greeted me the other morning when I woke.
My sweet stud made me a PB&J for breakfast (lately it’s been my breakfast of choice). I woke feeling hungry and grouchy and stumbled into the kitchen to make myself a PB&J and to my joy he’d made me one without me asking, requesting or even slightly suggesting it! He knew it’s what I would have made myself, so being the sweetie he is he made me one before he headed out to work before I was even awake!
Yup, he’s awesome. He’s thoughtful. He’s a fabulous provider, protector and hands off winches…he’s MINE!
Posted on June 25, 2008
A couple months ago I got the idea to order matboard photos and ticky tack them to my wall. I live in Germany and the house we are renting has these ROCK hard walls that anytime I put a nail in it just crumbles! So I wanted to find a way to showcase my family photos without our landlords being upset at missing chunks out of their walls! So after my three month “tester” photo turned out well (i.e. I was able to take it off the wall after three months without it tearing the paint off) I decided to order 9 different photos and I’m really, really pleased with how it turned out! I just have to share! I’m so pleased with how easy this was to hang…literally took us 10 minutes!!!!
Posted on June 23, 2008
I’ve had several photoshoots that I haven’t posted here yet. Just slowly going through all the images, organizing, editing, etc…it’s a long process for me!
Now that I’m starting to get my new Mac down, it’s going much, much faster! I had the honor of capturing my brother in law John and his sweet fiance Ashley’s engagement photos while we were visiting WV. I seriously love these two love birds, you can just TELL they adore one another and they were awesome models for me and were great sports as I tried new pose ideas and angles. Here are three of my favorites:
Wishing you two the best as you embark on your lives together. Love that Ashley will be my OFFICIAL relative after their September nuptials!
Posted on June 12, 2008
We’re back in Germany! After 2 great months in the U.S., we finally headed back to Germany. When I realize that this year is already half over and I’ve actually been in the U.S. 4 out of those months I’m in awe! How did I really manage to survive that much traveling with my sweet two year old??? LOL! It was a great experience though and I’m thankful for the opportunity to fill my U.S. tank. We really aren’t sure when we’ll even go back, so I really drank in the experience and all the beautiful, wonderful, convenient sights from home.
I didn’t do as many photoshoot type photos this trip, only about three honestly. I was busy this time just catching up with my family & friends and enjoying their beautiful faces! The few I did take are more snapshot types and are dear to my heart, so I’ll probably end up sharing those in the layouts I create for them.
In other news…I made a big decision while in the states. I couldn’t stand the thought of letting an experience at Penn Square Mall in beautiful OKC pass me by and David and I took the plunge at the new and shiny Apple store to buy a Mac.
It’s been a bit of a learning curve and I’m still in the process of learning, but it’s going well. I’m excited at the opportunity to be a part of the cool Mac club, cause it seems like all the cool scrappers and photographers are Mac people, so I couldn’t stand not being a part of it myself!! LOL! So if any of you are Mac experts and have any awesome tips please send them my way!
All in all I’m in awe of the beautiful 17” screen. I so enjoy editing my photos and scrapping on this clear screen! It’s seriously BEAUTIFUL!
The other really exciting news is the dandy little white thing hanging around on the right side of the photo…you see what that is. It’s this new fangled invention called a mouse. It’s something I’ve somehow managed to scrap without for over a year now, but at the mac store I saw this wireless beauty on the shelf and decided it was TIME to finally get one myself! It really has made photo editing and scrapbooking much easier. LOVE my new mouse!
Got some other cool things to share about how much Kate is changing, the gorgeous Germany weather, tons of photos from my family, some cool photoshoots I’ve gotten to be a part of and more…but that’ll have to wait for another day. Don’t want to bombard you with awesomeness all at once…gonna share tid-bits here and there.
Blessings!!
Annie
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